Warning: These are guaranteed to work! Use at own caution!
OH YEAH! Your daily pickup lines were served today with some USDA approved Canadian Bacon and some funny side up eggs.
“Baby, do you have Verizon or is this just a strong connection I am getting?”
“Baby, if you would be in an encyclopedia you would be in the one that people actually read.”
“Baby, do you have a hand? Then give me a high five!”
“Baby, can you smell my cologne, it’s called ‘Attraction’…. Yeah…”
“Baby, if I ever actually took the time to write a pickup line, you would most likely be in bed with me!”
“Baby, you are just like an Outback Steakhouse..You are just right.”
“Baby, I was born with two penises. I just like to randomly mention sexual facts about myself to you so you will sleep with me.”
“Baby, you put the awkward in my pause……”
“Baby, I will sex in ur endo. (sex innuendo).”
“Baby, I am like bread so you be like butter and spread…those legs.”
“Baby, let me put a hole in your donut.”
“Baby, my penis is comparable to a fruit roll up… It’s long and it tastes like candy.”
“Baby, if I told you I loved your armpit hair stubble, would you sleep with me?”
“Baby, I am told I make love like an albino squirrel.”
“Baby, let me open your mind and do stuff to you!”
“Baby, I like women like I like my steak.. A fine cut and well done on a plate.”
“Baby, I just wanted to know if the carpet matches the welcome mat.”
“Baby, I like your lips, but I think I would like them better with me in between.”
“Baby, you are like global warming to me. You are making my water levels rise above sea level above the southern border.”
“Baby, you are gonna be the bow-tie to my Cincinnati bow-tie. Yum?”
“Baby, I have an erection… Just wanted to let you know.”
“Baby, I wanna be like a squirrel in your barkless oak and go nuts.”
“Baby, I would play with your vagina like a tennis court, my balls going back and forth. With you I would never foul.”
OR
“Baby, I would treat you like a ping pong table with my paddle whacking my balls back and forth on your table. The best thing is I always get the points to win the match.”
“Baby, I have a feeling I am gonna love the face you make when my balls are in your mouth.”
“Baby, talking with you is the only oral sex I need in my foreplay, now let’s get to the real thing.”
“Baby, in golf I always use just the right amount of strokes to complement your hole in one.”
“Baby, put a bag over that face and I will be your bag boy.”
“Baby, I saw you lookin at me from across the room, so my little man had to say hello to you. By man I mean my penis and by little I mean huge!”
“Baby, just looking at you gives me global warming… in my penis.”
“Baby, where I’m from, erectile dysfunction is a myth.”
“Baby, I hope you don’t believe that bigger is better, cause I have got something not necessarily bigger, but a whole lot better!”
“Baby, do you like soccer? Me too, it’s really a fun game to both play and watch!”
“Baby, I don’t care if you have some extra fat around your belly, when it gets cold outside I can just use your fat around me for warmth.”
“Baby, lucky for you and your periods, I happen to be in a vampire cult.”
“Baby, after one night with me you will want the receipt and give me a nice big tip.”
“Baby, look past my deformed face, awkward body and average looking clothing, and you will see a gorgeous naked man underneath.”
“Baby, I know my dick doesn’t look that big from here, but get closer and it will get a heck of a lot bigger.”
“Baby, I will make love to you like how Facebook raped MySpace in every way possible.”
“Baby, when asked what sexual position best defines me, I say the “Spider Monkey”, to find out how it best defines me, you will have to try it out with me.”
OR ALTERNATE
“Baby, when asked what sexual position best defines me, I saw the “Spider Monkey”, it’s mysteriously pleasuring and it will fuck the shit out of you. Wanna try it?”
“Baby, I know you love these sunglasses on me, just like how I knew I loved your ass when I was checking it out as I was trying these on.”
“Baby, you are gonna love me like the perfect pair of jeans you try on, after one try with me, you are gonna want to keep me.”
“Baby, ever wonder why on some girls shorts on the butt it reads “Juicy”? Well let’s find out.”
“Baby, you must have a remote control in your pants, cause baby I got hard as soon as I looked at your ass!”
OR
“Baby, you must have a remote control in your pants, cause baby as soon as I looked at your ass you turned me on!”
“Baby, if your body was the Starship Enterprise, I would be it’s captain and I would boldly take you where no man has taken you before.”
(Walks up to woman and slaps her in the face with his erection) “Baby, in my country that is how we say ‘Hello’! So about how we say “Goodbye” outside…”
And so on!…
BTW, YOU’RE WELCOME! haha
